Rough times

There's a saying in the Al-Quran saying that all humans will experience a certain time of pain and He will gives us another amount of time of relief. Do you understand what it means? I just stumble upon this meaning of a verse from the Holy Quran while preparing for a Sharing session for my CTU course.(Islamic Education)

The Sharing session has taught me a lot about Islam and the Quran. The topic I was working on was "Aims of Human creation." "Why Humans(us) are created?" So I thought. I'm sure many of you had thought about this once in a life time right? Don't lie. There's lot of things to share but I shall share something I understood from what I have experienced in my life from the introduction paragraph.

During most of time on Earth, I always felt I wasn't needed by friends but I need them. Why wasn't I needed? I forgot back then, I was nobody in their eyes because I was different. I remember being isolated because I was being taken for a Chinese girl and nobody could understand me because of my bad converse in Malay. I only conversed in English when I was little and I struggled a lot by my own. Starting off early education alone, made me alone up until High School. I never had any real friends; they were faking that they even care. So when I moved on, I don't care anymore because I don't see them anymore and I tried to make new friends. But still, I failed making friends because of my lack of interest of others feelings. I didn't know if I speak out my mind would hurt someone else. Giving honest opinions wasn't appealing to them. People just kept on distancing themselves away from me so they won't get involve in my life. So was I. I wasn't involved in anyone's lives. I was alone.

Being alone is painful. I cried once when I came home finding my house has nobody to say, "Welcome home, dear." No one. Not a friend, not a single person or family member. My parents were always busy and my siblings always has school. I sat alone in my quiet house every evening just waiting for someone to talk to but it didn't felt right at all. What was I doing? Why am I here? I lost track of God's guidance back then, so I lost the light as well. that's why I did a lot of childish things to make people annoyed and hate me . I didn't mean that; I just wanted people to know that I exist. A lot of people do so.

Growing up and being here at UiTM studying in a Islamic Education as part of my TESL program here, I had found my answer. From question to another question I used to ask myself when I was younger; I found them all in the Holy Quran just because I was just doing a research for Islamic Education. I praise to Allah that he still keeps me on his track of guidance that I shall find his answers. I am sure I shall find more answers to come if I bound to get hurt and depressed again.

Life for me has been depressing. Experience were gave by Allah Al-Mighty is such sudden and unexpected ways for reasons we can be surprised about. He LOVES us. Loves all his true believers; without doubt. Here I am, striving to have a happy and meaningful life just makes the painful memories become sweeter. You hurt a little, you have relief the moments you heal from it. You can always count on that.