Friday, June 24, 2011

Rough times

There's a saying in the Al-Quran saying that all humans will experience a certain time of pain and He will gives us another amount of time of relief. Do you understand what it means? I just stumble upon this meaning of a verse from the Holy Quran while preparing for a Sharing session for my CTU course.(Islamic Education)

The Sharing session has taught me a lot about Islam and the Quran. The topic I was working on was "Aims of Human creation." "Why Humans(us) are created?" So I thought. I'm sure many of you had thought about this once in a life time right? Don't lie. There's lot of things to share but I shall share something I understood from what I have experienced in my life from the introduction paragraph.

During most of time on Earth, I always felt I wasn't needed by friends but I need them. Why wasn't I needed? I forgot back then, I was nobody in their eyes because I was different. I remember being isolated because I was being taken for a Chinese girl and nobody could understand me because of my bad converse in Malay. I only conversed in English when I was little and I struggled a lot by my own. Starting off early education alone, made me alone up until High School. I never had any real friends; they were faking that they even care. So when I moved on, I don't care anymore because I don't see them anymore and I tried to make new friends. But still, I failed making friends because of my lack of interest of others feelings. I didn't know if I speak out my mind would hurt someone else. Giving honest opinions wasn't appealing to them. People just kept on distancing themselves away from me so they won't get involve in my life. So was I. I wasn't involved in anyone's lives. I was alone.

Being alone is painful. I cried once when I came home finding my house has nobody to say, "Welcome home, dear." No one. Not a friend, not a single person or family member. My parents were always busy and my siblings always has school. I sat alone in my quiet house every evening just waiting for someone to talk to but it didn't felt right at all. What was I doing? Why am I here? I lost track of God's guidance back then, so I lost the light as well. that's why I did a lot of childish things to make people annoyed and hate me . I didn't mean that; I just wanted people to know that I exist. A lot of people do so.

Growing up and being here at UiTM studying in a Islamic Education as part of my TESL program here, I had found my answer. From question to another question I used to ask myself when I was younger; I found them all in the Holy Quran just because I was just doing a research for Islamic Education. I praise to Allah that he still keeps me on his track of guidance that I shall find his answers. I am sure I shall find more answers to come if I bound to get hurt and depressed again.

Life for me has been depressing. Experience were gave by Allah Al-Mighty is such sudden and unexpected ways for reasons we can be surprised about. He LOVES us. Loves all his true believers; without doubt. Here I am, striving to have a happy and meaningful life just makes the painful memories become sweeter. You hurt a little, you have relief the moments you heal from it. You can always count on that.

The Optmistic

"You are really the Optimistic. That's gonna be a problem."
"Why?"
"Because, in reality, no one really cares, do they?"
"Sorry girl, but we're really pessimistic."

Hello, and Salam. The conversation above are between some friends and I. I am the optimistic yet unsure person about how other people judge things. So what happened was, I told them, when I become this teacher figure in the future and teach the future generation; I'd care less about what they think about me. They can hate and mock me for all I care but still, I give them the freedom to be and think whatever they want. The reason behind my statement is because, if I were to control the minds of people will only cause more disturbances to the younger generation. I've seen and felt so. Well, I never been force to become or think of something by anyone else but the outside world has taught me a lot of things that matures my ways of dealing with life.

Life is shared by everyone.

If there are certain people who disturb the peace of how we live; for example: A talented, rich young student is being laid out a single path for his future is said to be normal for rich people. A father passing down his company to his son: I see that totally unfair. He has a right to make up his own future, even if it means to live a throw away his wealth and do something absolutely different from business.

I would deny everything from his. Adolescences. Are in a challenging stage of life. I told many people plus the friends I have that conversation earlier, I want to live for that purpose which is to guide there's teenagers to know what they want in life. No one is truly useless and alone in this world. I'm sure everyone has felt like this some part of their life no matter how and where we live. I too have felt so:

"THAT'S WHY I'M HERE. MY JOB ISN'T FINISH YET."

I have my point clear to myself. I'm just gonna finish what I have just start. I don't care if they are pessimistic. I don't care you can call my optimistic. I'll be what ever I can be and you can be whatever you can be. In certain part of our lives, I'm sure we will need each other; one way or another.

THAT'S WHY WE'RE HERE, AREN'T WE?

Sunday, June 19, 2011

Someone's down! HELP!

I went to my younger siblings's Sport's Day today. What happen today that made me thought for a while is this: "What's the child's state of mind when they see another's problems?"

Okay, you might not understand what I meant but I'll tell you what happened. I was was watching over the track from in between bleechers. There was a spot wide open there with a lot of children running up and down the stairways and whatsoever. Then it caught to my attention there was this boy; a participant of the track race lying on the floor. It was improper of cause so I talked to him kindly,

"What's wrong? Are you alright? You don't look too good."
"I'll be alright. I'm just a bit warm."
"You're not alright. Go to the washroom and wash up."

That's what I told him, because it was already hot in the afternoon. When I turned away a second and back to him, he already puked. It wasn't a nice thing to see.

"Hey! You're not alright! Get up and get yourself to the washroom." I helped him up. I looked around for somebody to help though. That's why I wondered. Don't anyone care about them? Don't the teachers know or how to take care of their students? It's normal for these children to puke up or get hurt at a sports day like this and they don't do anything about this at all? I'm very disappointed.

Second of all, as a fellow school-mate, would you have a friend to be in this situation, would you just watch from afar and see them struggle alone like this? Be ashamed of yourselves and think. Today might be his day, tomorrow would be yours. Children would think: "I don't know him. Maybe somebody else would help him." Or,"Eww... gross." Hey, give me a break. He's humiliated enough for the accident.

Anyway, that's what I was planning to share with you all for now. I hope you can give a thought about this and try to figure what you can do if something like this would ever occur again in your place. Until then, Salam...

Saturday, June 18, 2011

More Korean Drama?

I know the title sucks for those who dislike Korean but screw it. I'm a proud Malaysia to feel free to like any sorts of genre and drama from any other country. Does liking something is such a bad thing? Okay, storp with this crap before I blabber something longer than this.

Okay!

I have officially watched my 2nd Korean drama in my life: He's Beautiful. Yea, the famous drama: He's Beautiful starred by Park Shin-hye (Go Mi Nam (Male) / Go Mi Nyu (Female)), Jang Geun Suk (Hwang Tae Kyung), Lee Hong Ki (Kang Shin Woo) and Jung Yong Hwa (Jeremy). In a nutshell I can simplify the whole story, it started with a girl, Go Min Yu posing for her twin brother Go Mi Nam as a new member super star of the famous A.N.Jell until her twin could return from the U.S from surgery. Posing as a girl was diffcult enough when the leader of A.N.Jell, Hwang Tae Kyung doesn't like him/her very much. I'll stick with him, kay? But Go Mi Nyu got through as Go Mi Nam and there she starts a whole new life as a famous Korean star.

Typical story right? I knew right from the start that this love story will end that this Hwang Tae Kyung will fall in love with Go Mi Nam's twin and bla bla bla... So why did I bother watching it more? HAHA. If someone loves drama and movies so much, of cause they'll stick through the story from the start till the end. So, what happens to this posing Go Mi Nam and A.N.Jell?

Another clise part of the story that pisses me off when all the members of the group actually, oblivously loves one girl which is Go Mi Nam. Aiyoo... Tae Kyung is so oblivious not knowing he actually likes the girl and not see how she likes him back. Shin Woo just looks after the girl from afar knowing her secret and everything but never wants to confess from the start. You can say he's posing for a brotherly figure for Go Mi Nam. I was like: "If you like the girl, why don't you confess real soon? Stupid Shin Woo, say something already!" He wants the girl to find him that much he lost his chance to the love birs's story. Not to forget, Jeremy, he's thought he was gay? He was too dense to see that Go Mi Nam was a girl and thought he was gay for liking her. Though I had to admit, when he found out he was utterly cute and more adorable. He was like; "Go Min Nam, I looovveee you~" ready to hug her but Tae Kyung and Shin Woo just dragged him away as possible from Go Mi Nam.
Haih~ Bored reading already? I know. I watched the drama dvd my aunt gave me from Johor and I just watched it non-stop. How could I not say a word about it? I enjoyed it. I was irritated with the love triangle: Sin Woo loves Mi Nam when he knows she loves Tae Kyung the best. But Tae Kyung doesn't know he likes Mi Nam in return and thought she likes Sin Woo better. That's a love triangle alright. But to be honest what irritates me the most, I was questioning: "When is the real Go Mi Nam coming back? Get him back! Bring him back!" When it was episode 15, with the last episode left(episode 16) only then he seems to exist. "Wow, you're surgery took ever long Go Mi Nam."

But that didn't serve any more greater objective to the story anyway when it's ending with A.N.Jell not seeing Go Mi Nyu. She had done everything she had to in her brother's place. Singing, preforming, modeling, finding their lost mother and the truth to their family. Bla bla bla. I don't want to give out more spoilers because it will only hurt the fans. LOL.

Overall, I'll give 7 out of 10 because of character background, storyline, and MUSIC! The OST was superb! My favourite is: Without Words by Park Shin Hye. Here's a video of the song: (also a little bit of the story. hehee.)


And yeah I know, her voice is obvious to identify he is a she. But in the story, they say that Go Mi Nam has a voice sounds like the Heavens. Anyway, this is a mixed version. I think it's a fan version but I like it. So, thumbs up if you like it too and you can always check out the other songs from the OST of He's Becautiful. They're awesome, I'm sure of it. Don't get up saying: "Do you even understand what they're singing?" Duhh, you can always find translations. If you understand English, find english translations. That is what learning other languages is for Malaysians. Stop ranting us Korean fans and get lost if you still don't like the idea.

Because I find learning many languages is an amazing thing. ;-)

Monday, June 13, 2011

Amazing Final Concert

Fell in love with Erul, peeps.
& The great last preformence.
Akademi Fantasia sets it's amazing finale in my memory forever!

Walaehh. I watched AF at the TV room at my college. Kolej Mawar. ;) Saje promote kolej. I just fell in love with Erul's preformance last night and I didn't careless who became the champion for AF9 which was pretty obvious. Hazama. Bleh. But the final concert was amazing. The stage was amazing. Everything is amazing lah! HAHA. I can't stop being too giggly watching Erul on stage. "Who cares he's not a finalist now?!" He's awesome! His new single "Legasi Cleopatra" was sang last night and I was like Woe! AH-MAZING. Again with AMAZING, again! That's why I need to top-up my vocabulary here. Sooo, yeah. Do I need to say more about AF and the amazing-ish Erul? NO. I'LL JUST GET OUT OF HERE before haters get to me. And my class will start at 10.30. Need to get ready. Bubye.

Until next time. I'm liking INTEC's computer lab. <3

Sunday, June 5, 2011

A Peek into my UiTM life

My friends are getting culture shock from FB, "Wah Ainul! On FB speaking English 24/7. What's gone wrong with your Malay Language?" Oh c'mon guys. I don't find nothing weird by that because I commonly use English a lot, don't I? Ahahaha.

I finally live my life as an Asasian of the Foundation of TESL programme at UiTM, Shah Alam and it's been entering week 2! Wee~ It felt like a long period of time but not at all. The orientation week has ended with the Closing Ceromony being live at Dewan Cancelor sekian sekian sekian; I forgot the hall's name. Sorry. Bleh. I was glad it was over and could finally set foot at my faculty for the second time of my life. The first time was during my interview. HEE.

As for my life at Collage so far. I have to share my room with 3 more other TESL students which I'm in such a lucky position compared to others, as they say. Yes, I do enjoy having all my dormmates being TESL students because I don't need to confuse myself hearing different stories from different faculties everytime I step foot in my dorm. There'll be this English zone in my dorm. We clique very well and shall always share stories in our dormatory. Tell jokes and gossips day and night about our classes. Eventhough from the same programme but are seperated into different Groups. That's a good thing. So the picture below is me with my dormmates, my third dormmate can't be seen because at this time she's ironing her shawl at the left side of the photo. You can see a little part of the shawl on the left side bed. HIHIHI. My dormmates are cool because they can accept the giggly, excited me through exhausting days of TESL classes.


As for my classes. There's 7 courses that I'm taking so far. two of my classmates are my ex-schoolmates and the rest are just as much as fun to hang around with. Beware of Group B(my class). Set one foot into my class, you'll be among K-POP, J-POP and anime fans. Don't believe me? HAHA. It's scary but true. Everyone of my classmate is individuallt special and unique in their own way. Within a week of continuous ice-breaking and introduction, we feel like a real class already and feel comfortable with each other. No kidding; TESL student are awsome. There's no time to be shy, time to be scared of being indifferent because we were there with open minds and bright ideas. As they say, one hello can change everything.

By taking the placement test to assort our classes a.k.a Groups, I was placed in Group B. I was like, "Okay, I knew how my results will turn out to be. I'm an average scorer." But my dean said this: "An A, is not an A; an F is not an F." "No passing or failing." Getting to know Group was the most amazing thing that happened to me this week. Now I have 18 new friends in class because we make up 19 students all together. 5 guys and 14 girls. Like civil classes in SMTG.  But heck, we can all understand each other and everyday was another story to smile and laugh about.
I can mention a few names like Nabihah, the amazing class representative of Group B who is now our Asasi TESL society's president. OH WOW! Ryn Roderick pronounced as Ryan; the youngest and the brightest Sabahan that I shall ever met before in my life. Sarah, so supportive. Sora; a girl whose name is really Liyana but it was a common name, we call her Sora. Sir Mag is actually Megat and we call him Sir because he looks like a lecturer with his coat on the first day of class. And there's so many interesting characters in group I have so little time to mention everyone. Within a week as a group, I find it awsome we already done so much together through acciedental events or not at INTEC Section 17, Shah Alam. I really have fun so far in class.




So, I can't really wait for the upcoming weeks to come. I'm really looking forward to an amazing 2 semesters of Mawar Collage and Group B of Asasi TESL, UiTM Shah Alam. Waii~
UiTM dihati ku. <3

Into Blogging

Why am I into blogging. I seriously can't remember the reason why I signed up into blogspot into the first place after taking my PMR results in 2008.

So this is a reply to my friend Haziq's question:
"How did you enter the world of blogging and for what reasons?"

I apologize because I don't remember why but writting just became a passion for a freedom writter like me. My blog is basically like an online diary for me by the style my entries are. It's a lot about my life during high school, my inner-thoughts about my friends and stuff around me. Maybe I just need a little more attention and yes, maybe I do hunger for the increase of number of my followers but my blog just don't attract numbers, does it? At the same time, I can't really force people to read and follow my blog even though I countless time promote my blog on Myspace and Facebook. Oh well, that's the online world.

Blog has become part of my past-time activities. If I have the time to share my ideas or activies, I'll be all over blogspot. And I'm really interested of my friend's blog. Only really good entries of cause. If it's an entry of very few words, I basically ignore it. But now, when I'm becoming more of a university student day by day, I really need to think of good entries to post because I'll never know that one of these days my lecturers will stumble upon my blog and read it. Maybe I'll bonus points in reading or writting classes. Hui hui hui!

Haaaaiiihhh.. I'm out of words. I just love blogging. For me, writting is an obsession and blog has always been my place to share free expressions with my friends and followers. I never thought of blog as place for business and such yet. I'm not up to par but if it's just to express and share advice; I'm free to do so anytime. ;D