You know something? Of cause you don't. I haven't started talking about what I'm supposed to tell. I haven't blog for a long time since I lost track of a lot of things. I think I had lost track of a lot of things lately, I can't do anything about it. Besides that, I found out something new about me that has always been me. Note to self; is today's entry from me is all about.
There are only few people I can really trust on. And people who I can rely on. But that doesn't seem to help a lot too. There's actually no one I can rely on. Why have I only noticed that now? Am I delusional or naive or dense or just plain stupid. But since I still believe in GOD (ALLAH) and the six pillars of Iman, I shall not go with the last option. No, I'm not stupid. But I shall consider the other 3 options of what I am.
To prove that I'm still sane and still have a sheer amount of courage to live my life as a loner; somebody easily forgotten, used to be discriminated for half worth of my life; I will start to live with the fact I live for myself now on. Even though I'm easily affected by the people around me, sensitive almost about everything people do and get insanely emotional about it; I'll live for myself this time. My heart had been hurt for too long now and no one seems to care more or less. What is left for me to do? Allah, is testing. I will place myself into recognizing this is my chance to fall in love with HIS nature even though it's gonna' take time. Allah is Al-Patient and Al-Knowing; HE will understand.
I shall devote myself to what I should believe in from the very start. ISLAM. My guidance and companion if there is no hope left; no one to remind me but myself. I wonder how hard can it be?
I wonder how many will read this? :(
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