Am I NOT suppose to exsist in this picture?

A photo was taken last week. Our dear class photo. Everyone was there, except for HIM. I wonder, is he was here, would he make a difference to this picture? What if I wasn't here? Would this picture be complete? That 'boy', if he could only be there with us when this photo was taken. I would feel complete. Or is it just me; ONLY me who thinks this way?

* * * * * *

Why did you lied?

Why did you ignored me?

My feeling towards you haven't changed,

But nature is cruel,

It's you who has change againts me.

If I would to have my own way,

I would control time,

Have time to read your mind,

So I can stop repeating mistakes,

Mistakes of hurting you.

But no, it's not you, it's about me,

Cause right now, in my story,

All I can write about is you,

Your name is all I can recall.

No matter how you changed,

No matter what you do,

My heart still lies sincere,

For I never forget how you made me feel.

How can you lie to me? You might be the biggest lier I have ever made friends been. That's why I'm hurt now. I am friends with a lier! I say I care for you and it cost us our friendship to waste. I don't know how it comes to this. Who are you to be ashamed? All I needed was your friendship cause I know, we're too young to fall in love. How immature you have been to think I'm like most other girls. Who would cry to rejection. NO. I'M NOT LIKE THE REST. I am different. So that is who I want to be. Not like anybody else, I shall stay true to myself. If I my won words to say to you now, I hope you would listen at least. If you're truly my friend, you would understand. But that's one in a million chances.

Ainul's notes:

• The smile I knew of you has faded. It feels it's wasn't meant for me.
• The words I crave to hear from you, are gone. You have spoken in a new language.
• The jokes I used to hear aren't funny anymore. It's funnier when you used to tell them.
• What makes honey sweet? You would always help me solve a question.
• We used to share a lot; now we have so little.
• We are so close, yet we are a far.
• Troubles are more than usual. We carry our own burdens.
• You like to be so full of yourself. You never think how I would feel.

That isn't how you should treat me! DAMN IT! You changed soo much I hardly reconize you. Tell me what's wrong and ignore what others say. If it is for the last time, let it be true for what you say. Next time, don't try to get my hopes up cause you'll end up crushing them. Please end my sufferings. It's soo unpleasent to me. I'm sorry but you're not mine to decided

* * * * *

I would look back at you. The boy I used to know has now become someone else in another world of his own. He has seen those chances to fly. I guess he is happy but why am I still here? But that's not the point, I'm really sad cause I have been left behind by HIM. Why haven't you come back? I want to hear your stories, to hear you laugh, to see your smile again. But it seems, you found a better place to be, to start anew. Have you not realize I still think about you?

p/s: I'm right here.