I can't stop feeling that I'm sorry for the millionth time already plus my fear of facing you when you keep on running away from me. I figured something was still not right. Based on what you wrote about me on your blog. I'm heart broken. Thanks for showing honesty. It's painful. I wish I was more honest but I thought I already said, "I was the reason why you got you into this mess." I guess I didn't make myself clear on that faithful day. So, I tired my best fo find the best words and the best time to tell how stupid I was that I got you suspended. Why on Earth I ever did that? Alright. I was stupid to think the teacher call me because of my recklessness at the hostels. The only way he knows my name would be from the hostels or somewhere cuz at the hostel, I use my online screen name too. Remember the rumors there would be a spot-check at the hostel? I was so focused on my mistake there, until nothing else matters. Before I knew it, there he was asking me, "Who was Joyride?" I lost my focus and blurted out your name. The next thing I knew he said something about wanting know who's blog it belonged to. When I was released, the only thing came to mind was, "Oh! Heck?" I didn't realized what I've done and went to see you after school. I tried to tell you what happened but you walked away. And also, I still haven't figured out how much it trouble it has caused you until after the Xplora programme. Heck! I fail. I'm such a sucky friend to you.
Secondly, I want to tell you. How much you try to tell me it's not my fault but personally to me; as a friend, I'm such a failure! It wasn't my intention to keep secrets from you nor to lie to you. I still lack on how to keep a good friendship with others. I think you got your answer. The honest truth. Plus I want you to know too, you are smarter and braver still to get back up from the ground. You are stronger than I am. Responsible too. But I can't say more than that because between us there's a limit, right? I do wish too we become friends again but now you know how much of an idiot I can be, please deal with it and accept me the way I am. I hate this much about me too. For that, I enjoy being with the people around me, like you and not just Ameer. So, go figure. I'm not ready for a serious relationship just yet. But... I want to belong with you and everybody else. I'm sorry, maybe something won't be the same again after this :(
Friends?
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